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Growing Pains
by CallieK***
I knew it was inevitable. Growing pains. Everyone has their own individual take on what is happening--or not happening--with Clay right now. Mine? Is growing pains. And they are...painful. But they can also be inspiring and empowering and beautiful. They are a chance to embrace an even greater, more intimate and higher form of love and commitment.
Looking back to the beginning, I see Clay as the gangling colt too big for his legs. Staggering, stumbling, sprinting, then stopping...all legs with speed pulsing through them. Nowhere and everywhere to go. All at once. The home pasture has been comfy with its clear blue sky and crisp green grass, but now there's a bigger field that seems to go on forever. The sky is high and wide, the blue as deep as the ocean of tomorrow. The grass stretches to infinity.
Infinity in the ocean of tomorrow is a very big place for a two-year-old thoroughbred to explore.
Clay has an incredible gift. He has an extraordinary mind. He has a soul and a spirit that take the power and beauty of life breaking out of the gate to new levels.
I think we are seeing a channeling stage where he is growing into his body and tuning in to his mind, learning his spirit and listening to his heart. He is aware that he holds so very many others' hearts in his hands. How heavy can that weight feel? He is ready to run, he feels the speed and confidence building...he is ready to break and charge and pound down the track. But he feels the weight of those hearts in his hands.
Children in Indonesia and Africa, the family and friends from his first pasture and the thousands of others in the bigger pastures he has moved into. The spotlight of the industry, of his peers, of the ones who grade the speed and the movement.
And yet...we know he is like that stallion. The one who bucks at the gate, who watches the rest, hears the crowd, and then enters when he is ready. He will break when the time comes but he will run the race on his own terms. Regardless of the hopes, the cheers, the anxieties, the miscues, the slowdowns. He will find his slot, make his move, and head where his adrenaline and spirit take him.
And we'll be there. We may not always be happy with the race he runs. We may see different strategies, we may think he bolted too fast or held back too long. But we will see the thoroughbred giving his all, giving his heart, baring his soul, and know that he's alive, he's well, he's beautiful, and he's growing.
He's pacing in that stall right now, ready to run. We've been ready. But he's waiting for that perfect day when he feels good on those legs.
He will know, and when he breaks out again we'll know, too.
It may be agonizingly quiet right now, but the buzz is still out there. Believe me. Our man is very smart. He knows how to ride. And oh, those beautiful, strong, long legs...he can ride for galaxies.
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