Rediscovery

by Erin Bryan

***

He had me at, "I'm the next American Idol," back when he was branded with the numbers 5230. 
 
But like most relationships, we've had our highs and lows. My attention has ebbed and flowed, though my affection for him has never faded. But the fact is, real life gets in the way sometimes, as it should.
 
So I know you'll understand when I say I have had times when I've not hung on his every word, kept up with every appearance, downloaded every video, or known what hairstyle he is sporting lately.
 
That's just the way it goes, with all relationships. Sometims you drift apart only to --- as Journey's Steve Perry sang so beautifully back in the day --- "get the joy of rediscovering you."
 
As Steve Perry also sang, I am forever yours, Clay, Faithfully. 
 
I get the joy of rediscovering you when life cuts me some slack, or when life is too much for me and I need the sweet comfort your beautiful voice brings me.
 
So tonight, I sat and watched videos and thought about the old days, when I was sitting glued to my television, heart pounding, holding my breath, waiting for him to take the stage on that show, who can remember what it was called? Doesn't matter anymore.
 
Tonight I was able to immerse myself in the gift of Clay, his voice in my ears, his beautiful smile warming my heart, and the experience calmed me, soothed me, made me feel joyful and excited and happy ...
 
And I remembered how it was the first time I saw him in concert, there in Houston with those other people --- who remembers them? Doesn't matter anymore. I remember every second, every glorious moment he was on stage, and how I lost my voice but practically floated for days afterward, filled with the thrill of seeing him, and "breathing the same air as him," as we were fond of saying back then. Breathing the same air as OBC, who became OMC, who became Clay, the Legend.
 
And it is in that joy of rediscovery that I find myself tonight, that I have found the part of me that I was missing, the part who wraps herself in his sweetness and light and daydreams and laughs and smiles and wishes and hopes and relaxes.
 
Rediscovery. What an experience to treasure. 
 
And, again, I am forever yours, Clay. Faithfully.